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Ren And Stimpy You Eediot Better Than No One (Charlie Brissette/Tom Armbruster) REN: Stimpy, what's all that racket about? STIMPY: I'm tap dancing Ren. Pretty good, huh? REN: It just sounds like noise to me. And you look even more stupid than usual. STIMPY: Oh pshaw. Tap dancing is fun Ren. Why don't you join me? REN: Ohhh nooo! I'm no eediot. STIMPY: Come on...No one will ever see you. REN: No way! STIMPY: Just put on these shoes and move your feet... REN: Back off man! I can do it. STIMPY: Now, don't you feel better? REN: Hey! This is fun! You're right Stiimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time so mean to you. STIMPY: Think nothing of it buddy! REN: Pal! STIMPY: It's really great-to havea chum Who's kind and caring and lost of fun He slaps me around when I feel blue Only a pal would do that for you His name is Ren and when it comes to a friend No one is better Your turn pal. REN: O.K. Buddddd...(scream) You eediot, if you're going to tap dance do it on your own two feet. STIMPY: Whoops. REN: He's really fat but I admit He's not so dumb for an eediot I hate the smell of his litter box ANd when he fills with glue my stay-put socks He's lost his mind, but when I'm in a bid He's better than no one! REN: Would you comb my hair? STIMPY: With glee! REN: Would you polish my toes? STIMPY: For free! REN: Would you shave my tongue? STIMPY: Whoopee! REN & STIMPY: You're the friend for me! REN: My friend to the end-which I hope is soon Has a head full of air like a red balloon STIMPY: A balloon head, wow! what a great thing to be You always say the nicest things to me. REN: You're a fool STIMPY: But I think you're cool No one is better! STIMPY: Would you tell me a story? REN: No way! STIMPY: Would you pick my nose? REN: For pay! STIMPY: Would you scratch my back? REN: No! STIMPY: Pluck my brows? REN: No! STIMPY: Clean my box? REN: Erghhhh! STIMPY: Lick my fur? REN: Alright Stimpy! That's it! I've had enough of your stupid questions! The anser is no! No, I tell you. A thousand times nooooooo! STIMPY: Oh, just asking! REN: We're opposites by nature STIMPY: He's a dog and I'm a cat-I think REN: But put us both together STIMPY: And we're the perfect match I'm glad he's here to tell me what to do! REN: Somebody's got to think for you You may be a dud, but when I need a bud You're better than no one! STIMPY: No one is better! REN: You're better than... STIMPY: No one is... REN: Better than... STIMPY: No one... REN & STIMPY: No one is better. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
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