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Album: Miscellaneous (1999)
Artists: Paxton Tom

  1. Bottle Of Wine
  2. Bound For The Mountains And The Sea
  3. Changing My Name To Chrysler
  4. Daily News
  5. Dont Slay That Potato
  6. High Sheriff Of Hazard
  7. Hold On To Me Babe
  8. I Cant Help But Wonder Where Im Bound
  9. If You Love That Politician
  10. Jennifers Rabbit
  11. Last Thing On My Mind
  12. Leaving London
  13. Letter From Lbj
  14. Love Of Loving You
  15. My Dogs Bigger Than Your Dog
  16. My Lady's A Wild Flying Dove
  17. One Million Lawyers
  18. One Time Only
  19. Out Of Luck Out On Another Highway
  20. Outward Bound
  21. Ramblin Boy
  22. She Sits On The Table
  23. Show Me A Pretty Little Number
  24. The Bomb
  25. The Marvelous Toy
  26. The World Goes Round And Round
  27. What A Friend We Have In Hoover
  28. What Did You Learn In School Today
  29. When Annie Took Me Home
  30. Willing Conscript
  31. Yuppies In The Sky


Paxton Tom
Miscellaneous
Dont Slay That Potato
Don't Slay That Potato

by Tom Paxton



How can you do it? It's heartless, it's cruel.
It's murder, cold-blooded, it's gross.
To slay a poor vegetable just for your stew
Or to serve with some cheese sauce on toast.
Have you no decency? Have you no shame?
Have you no conscience, you cad,
To rip that poor vegetable out of the earth
Away from its poor mom and dad?

CHORUS:

Oh, no, don't slay that potato!
Let us be merciful, please.
Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze-dry it.
Don't slice it or flake it.
For God's sake, don't bake it!
Don't shed the poor blood
Of this poor helpless spud.
That's the worst kind of thing you could do.
Oh, no, don't slay that potato
What never done nothing to you!


Why not try picking on something your size
Instead of some carrot or bean?
The peas are all trembling there in their pod
Just because you're so vicious and mean.
How would you like to be grabbed by your hair
And ruthlessly yanked from your bed
And have done to you God knows what horrible things,
To be eaten with full-fiber bread?

(CHORUS)

It's no bed of roses, this vegetable life.
You're basically stuck in the mud.
You don't get around much. You don't see the sights
When you're a carrot or celery or spud.
You're helpless when somebody's flea-bitten dog
Takes a notion to pause for relief.
Then somebody picks you and cleans you and eats you
And causes you nothing but grief.

(CHORUS)

There ought to be some way of saving our skins.
They ought to be passing a law.
Just show anybody a cute little lamb
And they'll all stand around and go "Aw!"
Well, potatoes are ugly. Potatoes are plain.
We're wrinkled and lumpy to boot.
But give me a break, kid. Do you mean to say
That you'll eat us because we're not cute?

(CHORUS)
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