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Album: Miscellaneous (2003)
Artists: Weird Al Yankovic

  1. Aardvark
  2. Albuquerque
  3. Alligator
  4. Alternative Polka
  5. Amish Paradise
  6. Amoeba
  7. Callin' In Sick
  8. Cavity Search
  9. Christmas At Ground Zero
  10. Eat It
  11. Everything You Know Is Wrong
  12. Germs
  13. Grapefruit Diet
  14. Gump
  15. Hummingbirds
  16. I Remember Larry
  17. I'm So Sick Of You
  18. It's All About The Pentiums
  19. Jerry Springer
  20. My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder
  21. Phony Calls
  22. Polka Power!
  23. Polkamon
  24. Pretty Fly For A Rabbi
  25. Since You're Been Gone
  26. Smells Like Nirvana
  27. Snails
  28. Spam
  29. Syndicated Inc.
  30. The Alternative Polka
  31. The Night Santa Went Crazy
  32. The Saga Begins
  33. The Weird Al Show Theme
  34. This Song's Just Six Words Long
  35. Truck Drivin' Song
  36. You Happy Puppet
  37. Your Horoscope For Today


Weird Al Yankovic
Miscellaneous
Jerry Springer
It's been one week since we got to see
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer

Holy cow, d'you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all?
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry's next guest
And it's a slugfest
'Cause it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack
It's like "When Animals Attack"
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that's how it goes
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver

They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt and pointin' blame
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It's been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter feud
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer

male Springer guest: Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister.
female Springer guest: Oh, which one?
male Springer guest: All of 'em.
female Springer guest: Ah, well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake.
male Springer guest: Yeah? W-Well, me too! And, I've been sleepin' with your dog Woofie!
female Springer guest: Woofie, you bitch! Well I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
male Springer guest: That goat doesn't love you!

Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the 'sin' in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't wanna stare, but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher every day
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen

Well, it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one

It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said that she's still dating twenty guys
Three days since he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger
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