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The Charlie Daniels Band Miscellaneous fag song me and my buddy got us some wild hair and figured we wanted to go somewhere so we loaded up in my ragtop chevrolet. we had a little bit of money and a whole lot to show and with hank junior blarin' on the radio we got a tank full of gas and we was on our way. we figured we go down to new orleans and we were barrelin down ol' seventeen when a man with a blinkin red light was on our tail. he said you were doin sixty in a fourty-five but im gonna let you go this time but if i catch you again im gonna slap you in the county jail. we said thank you sir u've sure been nice you aint gonna have to tell us twice and we were southbound and down with the wind blowin in our face. we kept on rollin and pretty soon the radio was cookin out a haggard tune and we were pullin into houstin and checkin out all them places. i was feelin dry and i said i think we better stop and get ourselves a drink ol' jim said ya cuz we got time to kill. we kept on rollin and i see this spot and we pulled into the parkin lot with this place called the cloud nine bar and grill. we walked through the door and the place was jammed the lights were low they had a punk rock band and some orange head feller singin bout suicide. i said jim this aint our kind of place he said well lets just have one round anyways so against my better judgement we walked on inside. went up to the bar and we sat down and this feller walked up and said ill buy this round and he sat down on the barstool next to jim. he looked like a girl but he talked like a guy he had lipstick on and mascara in his eye and everybody in that place looked just about like him. i said jim this aint our kind of bar lets go on out and get back in the car cause theres gonna be trouble and there aint no sense in takin the chance. we was gettin up and gettin ready to leave and somebody grabbed ol' jim bye the sleeve with this good lookin girl she was askin my buddy to dance. i said jim dont do it theres somethin' missin theres fellers dancin and fellers kissin theres a feller in a high heeled shoe wearin pantiehose. he said partner i just cant turn this down u just go on over there and have one more round i'll dance with the lady and we'll get on down the rode. so he walked away and left me alone and this funny lookin feller kept comin on and he was makin me mad with some of the things he said. and then he put his hand on my knee and i said if u dont get your paw off me im gonna locate your nose around on the side of your head. he said i love it when u get that fire in your eye i said partner try this on for size and i unloaded on him and he went out like a light. everybody in that place must of been his friend they all headed for me i said this is the end but where i come from we dont give up with out a fight. they we screamin and yellin and scratchin and clawin i was punchin and hittin and kickin and pawin i was holdin my own cause ive been in a scrap or two. ol' jim come runnin up out the blue and that gal he was with come runnin up too and persiked to beat on me with a high heeled shoe i grab her by the hair and it come off in my hand and that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man and ol jim just got sick right there on the floor. he dropped that dude like a shot from a gun smeard his lipstick made his make up run and me and ol jim started fightin our way to the door. man we lead of there in that old chevrolet put her on the floor and it stayed that way we was goin down the highway doin about a hundred and ten. we was headin for home and we was gettin near and then a red light come on in the rear view mirror and that same blame cop pullin us over again. well im sittin here in this county jail and i had to call my daddy to go our bail and i learned me a lesson i never will forget again. i done give up drinkin ive give up bars and runnin around the country in souped up cars |
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